i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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