I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
how drunk are you?
Several
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
