I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
