You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
