dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
