The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
