dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
