Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
just found out that she named her cat after me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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