is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
