Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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