So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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