Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
