I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
