ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
