dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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