Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
In America we eat man semen.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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