We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
