he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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