my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
