the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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