she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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