i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
