Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
