i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
