And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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