I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
