Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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