Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
