do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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