just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
