it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
