you guys were way drunker than both of me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have post one night stand depression
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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