Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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