i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
