Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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