Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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