i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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