are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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