its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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