bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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