It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
