Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
