By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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