The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
