I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
