I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
