small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
