We won't sleep together?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
