my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
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