real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
