He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
