I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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