Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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