somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
even my farts smell like vagina
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
