when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i drank out of a bidet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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