remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
COCAINE IS GR8
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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