New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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