So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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